i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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