I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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