Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
