haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
