The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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