i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
