I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
