I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Acid is not a monday night drug
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize