Screwed.edu
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
