Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But break dance skills will only take you so far
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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