in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I just put wine in my tea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
