The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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