1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
