Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
