Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize