Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
