Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
