so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I didn't shave. On purpose
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
