when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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