guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
