hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
