Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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