I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
