I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Two words: blizzard sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
