Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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