Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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