Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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