it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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