The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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