You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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