I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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