Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
