If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
