GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love having hate sex.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
