talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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