I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
