from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
