even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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