I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
