she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
