there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
