You can't motorboat a personality
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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