Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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