soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize