Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
