you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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