I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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