You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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