Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
