all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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